Predictions for Andy's Future Career Path

As a child, I can remember my favorite topic of consideration: What are you going to be when you grow up? Most of my life, the question was easily answered, depending on my age: novelist, astronaut, pilot, Military Police, under cover detective, troubleshooter (Okay, so I watched a little too much 21 Jump Street and MacGuyver).

Most kids love that topic but you begin to realize, once you have kids, that adults wonder the same thing about their own children. I think every parents dreams of the wonderful career achievements their child will make one day. For a lot of parents, the list includes doctor, lawyer, or President. Personally, I will wholeheartedly advice against any of those jobs for my own kids, and encourage them to shoot for more realistic goals (particularly those that won't force me to take a second mortgage on my house for the college loans).

As for Andy, his current answer to that question is a "helicopter driver". Sure, kid. If you're gonna dream, dream big, right? That does sound like a pretty cool job. My 4th grade bff, Brian, wanted to do the same thing. He ended up in the Merchant Marine, instead. Okay, so boats and helicopters are pretty different, but it's still a pretty darn cool job.

For Andy, my money is on something scientific or engineering related. Possibly computers. But to determine some other predictions for Andy's future career, I began looking back through the things he has said in his lifetime. I have a book of quotes and stories that I keep, entirely dedicated to the great things that my kids say. Let me list a few of the entries here, along with the potential jobs that might be associated with such thinking. In about twelve years I'll be able to say which one actually pans out.

1. Airplane Pilot:

Jan. 2005
We were heading to gymnastics on Bryant Drive when someone pulled out in front of us. I slammed on my breaks and Andy said, "Mommy, do we have to eject?"


2. Homeless Man:

Feb. 25, 2005
Andy was standing in Daddy's way at the door. Daddy said, "Look out, Sonny." Andy replied, "I'm not Sonny. I'm a little poor boy."


3. Gay Biker:

March 17, 2005
Andy: "I love motorcycles. And I love guys who ride motorcycles."


4. Middle Management:

October 3, 2005
Andy came in from playing outside and was talking to Daddy about the bees in the yard. He commented that he didn't like bees because they have stingers. Daddy said, "Leave them alone and they won't hurt you. They're just doing their jobs." Andy looked confused and asked, "Then, where are their computers?"


5. Construction Worker

December 30, 2005
Andy had climbed into bed with us in the early morning, and began squirming. He said, "This little penis is tickling me." I told him to use the potty, and when he had finished, he returned to my side. He asked what "that" was. Daddy explained that some guys call it "morning wood". He looked at us funny and said, "No, it's not made of wood. You can't build a house out of it."


6. Hair Stylist

January 26, 2005
Andy: "What are you doing, Mommy?"
Mommy: "Putting mousse in my hair."
Andy: "So you can be cool?"


7. Real Estate Agent

May 5, 2006
Terry and I were talking about a job prospect in Birmingham. we were exploring the options for housing, should Terry decide to take the job. Andy had been listening quietly, and suddenly interrupted us. He said, in a perfect Michaelangelo imitation from the 2nd Ninja Turtles movie, "Guys, guys, guys! I know! Let's do Time Share!"


8. 911 Operator

July 5, 2006
I was teaching Andy about emergencies and what to do if he ever needed help. I taught him about 911, and we practiced dialing, then we roll-played about six times, with Andy playing the roll of caller, and I was the 911 Operator. Every time, I'd answer, "911--What is your emergency?" Andys pays a lot of attention to detail, so I fully expected him to answer the same way when it was his turn to be Operator. I called him on our pretend phone and said, "Help! My Daddy fell down the stairs and broke his arm!" Without missing a beat, Andy grimaced and replied, in a tone very reminiscent of Beavis and Butthead, "Ow--that musta hurt."


9. Porn Star

June 3, 2007
Andy and I were out shopping, and he made a comment about something. I told him, "You're getting too big for your britches." He looked at me funny, so I asked if he knew what britches are. He said he didn't. I told him, simply, pants. I could see the wheels turning in his head, and he was silent for a few seconds. Then, he said, "Penis?" Confused, I asked, "huh?" He said, "Is my penis getting too big for my pants? Do I need new pants for my penis to fit inside?"


10. Exercise Guru

June 8, 2007
Andy: "I want to do Elmocize tomorrow. I want to exercise so I don't die."


11. Buddist Monk

June 2, 2007
Andy heard us talking about death, and asked what reincarnation is. After I explained it to him, he loved the idea and decided that he wants to be reincarnated into a new body now. He asked, "Mommy, will you die with me?"


12. Proctologist

July 4, 2007
While watching the fireworks, the kids tried mini-jawbreakers for the first time. I told Haddie to suck on them, but don't swallow them. Andy asked, "Why? Because she'll get a hard poop?"



13. Cigarette Ad Agent

Andy and I were looking at pictures I took of Haddie at the Jack Daniel's distillery. She was dressed in overalls and had a stick in her mouth. Andy asked, "Why is there a stick in her mouth? Does she have a stickerette?"


14. Catholic Priest

July 16, 2007
Andy was watching a show with Terry. The characters were heading toward a church. Andy asked, "What is a church? Is that where dead people live?"

October 14, 2006
During Bun's wedding, in which he was the ring-bearer, Andy pointed out the huge cross on the back wall behind the pastor. He asked, "What's that big T?"



15. Brain Surgeon

September 14, 2007
Haddie: "My head is broken."
Andy: "Your head isn't broken. It's just alive."

September 17, 2007
Andy: "What's wrong with me? It looks like my brain was having a heart attack."



16. Dentist

See "Haddie's Lost Tooth" blog entry below.


Well, that is my list. I'm sure there will be more in time. He is such an ambitious child, after all. ;-D

Pics of the Rooms and Hitachi students

Haddie and Andy are staying with their Mommom and Poppop for a few weeks this summer, as will probably be routine for many years to come. While they've been gone, I've taken the opportunity to go through things and downsize in preparation for our upcoming garage sale. I rearranged their rooms and added some great new furniture. Andy now has a new bed, replacing the futon he used to sleep on. He got a new dresser, as well. Haddie has a new Big Girl bed, and she also has some new dressers. I posted the pics, in case you'd like to see them.

We hosted two Japanese students from Hitachi over the weekend, and I have a few of those pictures up, as well. All the pics can be found on the same page:

http://www.tumbleweedcrossing.net/Andy/JapaneseStudentsStay.html

Stay cool out there!

Beware the Webkinz!

Let me just send out a warning to all you intelligent, hard-working, God-fearing adults.

DO NOT PLAY WEBKINZ!!! It... (insert impressive pause)... is evil.

They used to say that cards are the devil's prayer book. Well, move over Hoyle--Webkinz reigns supreme over all vices. Allow me to explain.

Unless you have children, you've probably never heard of these ridiculously cute, entirely overpriced stuffed animals. If your Hallmark does not have a Webkinz display, the manager has, in all likelyhood, been recently fired because no sane person would dare pass up the mountain of gold these little critters are bringing in. I predict these things to be the next Tickle-Me-Elmo of the upcoming Christmas season. They're flying off the shelves, and most stores limit the number you can buy. To my knowledge, nobody's been killed over them yet, but it cannot be long in coming.

What are they, you ask? Webkinz are just cute stuffed animals, remininscent of the old beanie babies craze of a decade ago. What makes Webkinz so unique, and so evil, is the magnificently expansive virtual world that they unlock. Mozy on over to Webkinz.com and check it out on their little tour. When you purchase the toy, you have access to this amazing virtual world, in which you, quite literally, become caretaker for your pet. You must feed it, play with it, and nurture it to ensure its health and happiness. Think Tamigotchi on steroids. It's like having a child, but these furry little things don't backtalk. You can decide how to furnish your pet's room, right down to the color of the wallpaper.

In order to feed and provide for your pet, you must visit the arcade and play all of these awesome games to earn Webkinz dollars. These games are incredibly fun, and incredibly addictive. They have renovated versions of Battleship, Pong, and Frogger that put the originals to shame. They even have their own trading card game (remember Pokemon?). There are so many games, it would take hours just to play them all. There are several ways to earn money in this world, and I am telling all of you Addicts Anonymous out there--Webkinz is heaven for anyone with an addictive personality. Addiction to this world leads to Sloth, Greed and Envy, no doubt.

I have no idea where Webkinz came from, but I suspect (ATTN: all Conspiracy Theorists out there) that the Japanese had something to do with it. I mean, THINK about it! Insanely cute animals, computers and virtual worlds, trading card games--who ELSE could have come up with it?!?! The only thing missing is a manga series and anime. It screams Japan. The next step in Japanese economic domination of the world, if you ask me. Before long, people will be giving out their Webkinz handles along with their emails and IM names.

So, beware the Webkinz, people. Beware.

Alas, it's too late for me. I have embraced the evil and sold out to the corporate giants who want my money, nay--my very soul--in their pockets. My Webkinz handle is TumbleweedCrossing. If, like me, you have already been infected by the virus that is Webkinz, I invite you to come over and meet me in Webkinz World. I guarantee to offer you a mean game of Chef Challenge or Dogbeard's Bathtub Battles.

My Webkinz Info:
ID: TumbleweedCrossing

My Pets:
Clydsdale horse -- Winchester
Black Stallion -- Remington
Lil' Unicorn -- Weatherby
Google (fictional animal)-- Browning
Lil' Alley Cat -- Gatling
Persian Cat -- Chantilly

See you in Webkinz World, my fellow Sell-Outs!!!

Photo Album Updated

I have posted the photos from Donna and Brad's visit over the 4th of July. This page includes Haddie's Jack Daniel's photo session, the Birmingham Botanical Gardens, and American Village.

http://www.tumbleweedcrossing.net/Andy/july2007.html

Enjoy!

Martha and Richard's New Home

Well, after many years, ability finally caught up to necessity and we found a great Assisted Living facility for Terry's mom and dad. As it happens, of all the homes in Bham, the best one for them is just up the street from us about half a mile or so. I've been busy helping them with the move and setting up their new room this past week. The room is complete, except for curtains and recliners, which are forthcoming.


Family will be happy to know that, after only one week, they are thriving! I have never seen Richard more coherent, or Martha so happy. She is quite the social butterfly, and Richard can actually converse with comprehension. If you'd like their new address and phone number, email me privately.

Haddie's Lost Tooth

Andy learned a few months ago that baby teeth begin falling out at the age of six. When he turned six last month, he became excited, albeit a bit wary, to loose a tooth. He currently has no loose teeth, but we check on occassion.

A few days ago, Andy ran up the stairs, excited to the point of hysterics. He said that Haddie had lost a tooth. At first, I didn't believe him and I told him she couldn't have. He insisted, and claimed that she had just spit it out of her mouth.

Of course, I became worried:
A) Because Haddie is only 2 years old, and
B) Because I heard no crying.

Frightened that Haddie might have taken a bad fall that knocked her out, I shot up from the computer and raced to the stairs. There she was, chipper as a cricket, coming up the stairs with a tiny white lego in her hand.

Andy, practically jumping, said, "Mommy! Haddie lost a tooth! That means she's 6 years old now!!!!"

Our Jack Daniel's Photo Session

We were in Lynchburg, Tennessee at the Jack Daniel's distillery on July 3 with Donna and Brad. Andy wanted to go on the tour, but Haddie was too unbridled and energetic for an hour-long tour. Being cooped up for three hours in a car (with no nap) does not a contented two-year-old make. Therefore, I decided to keep her occupied in another way.



The grounds of the museum are so beautiful, and it was two years ago to the week that I discovered my unrealized photography talent on those very grounds. True to my Girl Scout days, I came prepared. After sending the others off on their tour (I've been on it four times already, so I wasn't missing anything), I, ready with camera, props and outfits, set Haddie up as my model. She was a natural, and is finally figuring out the whole "posing thing". It's a good thing I have photogenic kids.

Here are just a very select few of the pictures I got that day. The rest of the photos can be found here:
http://www.tumbleweedcrossing.net/Andy/july2007.html

Welcome to the Haven!

Hey pards,

Since our circle of friends stretches across the globe, few people ever see our family on a regular basis. I, alone, have the privilege of watching the children grow up, uninterupted by time and distance. It is time too precious to be lost, and should be shared with others. The insights into the minds of children are remarkable, and this blog is a place for me to share their lives with you. My children are a mystery to most, and I cannot be selfish. I must share them with others. They deserve to be shared.

I hope you enjoy their thoughts and deeds. I enjoy them daily.

Janie